Most people need to go on about 5-6 dates before they have the “should we be official” talk. However, that is just a rough estimate and every person is different.
It takes time to build intimacy and trust in a relationship. It also takes time to work out issues like whether you want children or how long you’re looking for a commitment.
1. The First Date
If you’re hoping for a serious relationship, it’s worth taking things slow on the first date. You want to make sure that you get to know the guy and find out if there’s chemistry between you.
The first date is also a great time to discuss any expectations that you may have for the relationship. For example, you might ask if he wants to be exclusive or if he is open to dating other people.
Many experts agree that it takes about ten dates for someone to view you as a potential long-term partner. However, this is just an arbitrary number and each person’s situation is different.
2. The Second Date
The second date is a good time to ask questions that can help you get to know your date better, such as his family, friends, and past relationships. However, bringing up sensitive topics such as if he wants children or if he is open to marriage can be off-limits.
If he invites you out for another date, that is a good sign. If you feel the connection growing, it could be a good time to show physical affection such as holding hands or kissing. Then again, if you want to keep things casual, you can let him know that and see how he responds.
3. The Third Date
The third date is often the one when you really begin to get a sense of who your new date is. They may reveal more of their personality, and you’ll know if they have any annoying habits that might irritate you in the future.
It’s also a great time to ask about their career, family and other important aspects of their life. You can learn a lot about your date at this point and decide if they’re someone you want to continue dating.
A lot of people place a huge amount of importance on the third date. They use it as a marker for when they should start to be more intimate or make the relationship official. However, this can lead to a lot of pressure and stress in the relationship.
4. The Fourth Date
Getting to the fourth date can feel like a real accomplishment, but don’t let yourself get ahead of yourself. This is a great time to ask your date where they see this going.
You may even be able to tell from their response if they see this as something serious or just casual. It’s also around this point that many couples start talking about their love life pasts.
Just remember to take a deep breath and keep it cool – coming on too strong can be a huge turn off. You’ve already invested so much time in this person and it would be sad to see it go to waste. If they don’t seem to be in a place where they want to move forward, it might be best to walk away.
5. The Fifth Date
The fifth date is the one at which you should have a good idea of whether or not this fledgling relationship is something you want to take further. You should also have a pretty good sense of whether or not this person is grounded and not a narcissist.
By the fifth date you should be able to talk about things that are important to you such as your religious values and what your career goals are. This will help you see if your values are aligned with one another and that there will not be any major conflict down the road.
It will also be a good time to ask your new friend about his hobbies, what he does for fun and other such personal questions that you would not feel comfortable asking on the first dates.